getting over

Jeremy


I am bad at this but I keep remembering our deal and also I owe you atleast to be honest. So allow me to try this.I tremendously appreciate your honesty. As much at it hurts, I really,honestly appreciate it so much.I don't know what happened between the time the you stated you areover her and today when you admited you are not over her yet. Whateverit is, it doesn't really matter. What matter is that it is unfair forher that we keep seeing each other like this.I really like you a lot Jeremy. And I assumed that you are looking forsomeone, maybe the way we met gave me that impression.I am sorry for assuming that if I was wrong.No one can compete with a woman you love and care for. And I am notgood in competition. I will always give up first than experiencelosing. I can't compete with her especially she has quite an edge. Iam just setting myself to get hurt which I am already feeling now.It's crappy...Like what I stated in my e-mail to you before, she must be a greatwoman base on the little information you provided me. I can't faultyou for loving her this much. Any woman will wish for a guy who cangive them exactly that. But it is unfair, and you are setting to hurtanother person, not only her, by doing what you are doing. It isunfair to her. It is unfair to me.I am glad I met you. And I am glad you are the man that you are. Ienjoyed every moment I spent with you. I am sorry I am not the type ofwoman who knows how to fight for what she wants. I am a peacefulperson, I don't like confrontations. I am not good in asking, naggingor prying for answers. I wait for answers to come to me willingly.Today is a good sample why I am not good in any of those. The answersthat I could get can possibly answers I wouldn't like to hear.Just one day of not having you around made me miserable and thissituation is definitely making me more than miserable but I am sure,given some time, things will be ok with me again. I have no other way
I wish you strength and confidence to fix whatever problem you havewith her that resorted to you meeting me. I wouldn\'t want anotherwoman to feel what I am feeling right now. It is terribly awful,Jeremy. I am not mad at you, so please do not think that. I couldnever get upset with you however much I try. I can only try tounderstand your situation to lessen my confusement and hurt.It will be hard for me not to pick up the phone if you call. It willbe hard not to reply to your e-mail. I don\'t want you to feel bad whenI don\'t so maybe, it will be best if you can try not to call or e-mailto help me get over this quicker.Hopefully, me backing off will help you realize things with her. Shemust know how lucky she is to have you.When you are able to sort things through with her, give me a call ifit will not cause a problem between you two. We can at least keepbeing friends. If, that would be alright with you and her.Always keep safe please. And try to have more frequest descent meal.:) and stop doing or saying things just to be nice, you end up hurtingsomeone by keeping the truth away from them in fear that you wouldhurt them with the truth. It hurts worst the longer you hide thetruth.keep well & safe, Jeremy.

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I guess it is good that until the last minute I was able to resist sleeping with him until I find out the truth. Is that enough to ease the pain? NO!