finally

the truth...that explains it all. I want to die. But taht would make him happy. It is what he wants I know. What have I done to this man to deserve this what has his own son done to him? All thsi time he was doubting he is the father - he could have just told me and the times I asked him if he has doubts he lied to me..........i ahve nothing more really nothing more. why is he like this why????

he called me a whore - i deserve to lose my son because I was whoring around. Where will he get this idea when I never even had the time to do anything else but care for my sick child???

I ahve nothing else and all that time i believed in him, i believed in nothing he never really cared never really believed he is his won blood. all those time....all for nothing....so this is why I should believe in GOd because of all these never ending things I supposedly deserve? if i deserve everything that happens to me death isnt what i deserve since I cant seem to get it.