same thing

haven't posted here for a few days only because I was back in that state that I could have probably said the meanest thing and then read it later to realize I don't really mean it.

This roller coaster emotions is harder to handle without my son around to patch or cover. I had a feeling it will be. That is why I am being extra careful and taking it really slow.

This man doesn't really know what he is capable of doing to me and what he puts me through. I was at the point again question why I am allowing this to happen when it is still the same thing as before. I have no padding anymore, no one to run to, cry to, or make me feel better. No one who can give me a worthy advice or word of wisdom.

Common people I have will make me feel that I can avoid this but I chose to be here. I rather be alone and quiet then and not say a word. Put up a facade that everything is alright. Sometimes it gets hard to do such.

I have been sick too. I guess it is the stress and pressure fromt he long travel downtown and the problem I will be facing at work. I am relied to fix the department which is in crisis right now and I am new there. I don't even know much yet although the training helped tremendously. Seems like the person I should rely ont he most is the one hoping I fail.