G,

I am not sure how this got started. I am not able to write everything, but wanted to at least drop you a quick note. She broke up with me last September. She asked me to stop contacting her. I granted her wish. I have not talked to her since last December, and she is gone from my life. I know this. I have been trying to accept this. She doesn't want me in her life anymore, and I am trying to move on. The only way I know to do this is to meet other people. She stopped returning my calls and my email, and she does not live in the same house anymore. I am assuming she went back to her second husband, but I don't know for certain. All I know is she is out of my life. That's all I know for sure.

I did not mean to lead you on. I met you Sunday because I wanted to see you and spend some time with you, however short. I am working 12 hour days out here, and I could not spend the night with you - not because I didn't want to, but because I had to be here. I am under a tremendous amount of pressure to make this system work, and I would not have made love to you and then left. That is not me. I was trying to be a gentleman, as best I knew how. I am sorry if you didn't understand, or if it hurt you. I was just trying to do the right thing.

I am funny. When I fall in love with someone, I never totally fall out of love with them. I still have feelings for her, as I do for every woman I have loved. Even my ex-wife. I am moving on as best i know how. I am sorry if that upsets you, but it is how I am. Just because I still have feelings for her does not mean I am still waiting for her to come back. I know that won't happen.

I am not sure this makes any sense, but I would at least try to explain it better. I will be working here for a few more hours, but if you would like to talk to me, I will wait for your call, or an email. Phone service is not the best out here, so if you would like to send me an email, I will try to call. That might be easier.

Jeremy


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I don't like to call, not because I am being egotistical. It is more of not wanting for him to hear me cry and know how much this bothers me.

I did email him back to tell him it is not sleeping with him nor him having to leave because of his work that hurt me but the fact that "he is not over her yet"

How can I compete with a person who already has his heart? I already shared a man I once with many other women. I stayed and understood because I thought I am the one he will always come to, the one at the end he will be with. The one he will be there for and understand always. The one he will one day allow to hear him say "i love you unconditionally & forever" to. I can't do that again. It didn't work then, all the understanding, flexibility and love I poured into that man wasn't enough for him to recognize that I am worth staying and loving. I can't do that again with this one.