he is too much... i don't know what is the reason that he does this. why?
is it so hard to stop being indifferent towards me> I am not asking for a grand thing just to be a constant thing that I can rely on but then I have to always wonder when he will be there and when he doesn't care.

i am starting to depend on him again and need him, i must stop this. I can't and I shouldn't. it is so unpredictable with him. he makes me feel intruding in his life sometimes and yet he can also make me feel like I don't value him. what is it???

i can't be in this situation again - i just can't. he doesn't want to be a stable art of my life i should stop depending on him - stop needing him.

LG i miss you baby :(

same thing

haven't posted here for a few days only because I was back in that state that I could have probably said the meanest thing and then read it later to realize I don't really mean it.

This roller coaster emotions is harder to handle without my son around to patch or cover. I had a feeling it will be. That is why I am being extra careful and taking it really slow.

This man doesn't really know what he is capable of doing to me and what he puts me through. I was at the point again question why I am allowing this to happen when it is still the same thing as before. I have no padding anymore, no one to run to, cry to, or make me feel better. No one who can give me a worthy advice or word of wisdom.

Common people I have will make me feel that I can avoid this but I chose to be here. I rather be alone and quiet then and not say a word. Put up a facade that everything is alright. Sometimes it gets hard to do such.

I have been sick too. I guess it is the stress and pressure fromt he long travel downtown and the problem I will be facing at work. I am relied to fix the department which is in crisis right now and I am new there. I don't even know much yet although the training helped tremendously. Seems like the person I should rely ont he most is the one hoping I fail.